My Down Syndrome Students: Lessons in living from the heart

5/27/2016

"Often people ask, "How can you say you're blessed to have a son with Down syndrome?" My outlook on life has forever changed. I see my own challenges differently. He's always showing me that life is so much bigger than self."
Author: Yvonne Pierre

"Breathe In, and Out, In, and Out, In and Blow out your birthday candles! Now, grab some paint and let's paint out bodies."

I teach a dance class to Down syndrome students called Be Beautiful Be Yourself, through the Colorado Ballet and Global Down Syndrome Foundation. I call my students my lovelies, and I go every week, selfishly, to fill myself with their love. They are slowly teaching me that I have a lot to give and to teach. It is turning into a beautiful collaboration. When I first started thinking about writing a blog, it was because every week I would walk away with a significant life lesson from one of them.

What if we lived our lives like a Down syndrome love? What if we lived from a place of loving with no questions asked, empathetic affection, showing the awesome awe that we see in others? What if we were real at all points in our day, let things go immediately, had no self sabotage, and most importantly lived from a place of love, a place of joy? Oh this idea makes me smile, and my heart just bursts at the thought of this much carefree happiness, joy, and love in the world. Ask yourself if you are willing to go the extra mile for happiness, even if people look at you odd? If so, Claim it as yours, and flaunt it every chance you get!

Before my first time teaching this class I was extremely nervous. During that same time, I was also embarking on the idea of loving myself truly. And frankly, I didn't feel up to the task. When they opened the doors each of these precious Down syndrome lovelies came over, gave me a hug, and wanted to know all about me. I immediately felt comfortable. They eased my awkwardness within seconds! Why couldn't I love myself the way they immediately loved me? They loved me immediately, me, a stranger, with no questions asked. From that point on, I knew I was home and I strived to give myself the same courtesy of hugging, accepting, and loving myself. I opened my heart with no questions asked.

How often do we walk into a room with a stranger and hug them? What if we did that? What if we hugged every new face that we saw? What if we walked across the room just to hug the new face in the crowd? The physical gesture, like a dance, of walking across the room, hugging them, finding out their name, and then moving on. That's it! That's all it takes! That gesture says so much with very little interaction. You are saying, I see you, I want you to know that you are welcome here, you matter.

Love equals joy. In dance, that joy is movement. The most fulfilling part of class, for me, is skip circle. We sit in a circle and one at a time they get up and go around. That simple act of moving their body, puts a smile on their face. But this smile is like none that I see outside of the classroom. Their joy radiates, and the more joy they get, the faster they go. Then giggles start, and their giggles fill me for the entire week. That immense joy that takes over their entirety, joy from simply skipping or galloping around a circle. How many times do we let that level of joy happen? How can we find that level of joy? Do we stifle it because it isn't the social norm?

I have watched my own daughter on stage concerned with the steps, following the teacher, and getting it right. It makes me sad. It's sad because she missed the best part! The joy of movement, not caring about the world, what you look like, or the fun in just moving to music! These loves just dance carefree, and they could care less what you want them to be doing. They just want to move their bodies and be happy. Could we embrace that mentality? Can we be that extravagant and easy with our joy? I want to have the type of joy with myself, that isn't meant for anyone else, but automatically feeds everyone observing.

The empathy that these kids carry is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It is never about themselves. They help each other when one feels lacking. They are the Super Healing Team. The entire class will stop and "tend to," when one feels sad or hurt, going over to see how they can make it better. How often do we know that someone isn't well, yet, do nothing because we think they don't want to talk or we don't know how to help? Sometimes they do want their privacy but isn't having a friend sitting next to you comforting? Loving? Just sitting next to them and not saying anything speaks a thousand words.

I have one lovely, who will never participate if anyone in the class is having a rough time. She sits next to them for the entire time that they are "feeling." She is non-verbal for the most part, and the way she looks at others, it's like she is looking at them in awe. When she looks you in the eyes she smiles and then her gaze slowly moves upward. What is she looking at up there? It definitely appears that she is seeing something. And every time it happens, it reminds me that I am not alone. I think she sees my angels, my guides, my aura. She doesn't participate often and only looks up. If we could see, I mean really see, all the beauty that appeared in energy form, would we stop in our tracks and just stare? What if we could see the awe of everyone we met? What if we could make everyone feel special by acknowledging the awe that we see in them?

It is seriously and absurdly real! This class wouldn't be anything without it's realness. There is no faking it with love in the heart. If you are having a rough day, you say so. Maybe you're going to sit down or maybe you're going to just lay in the middle of the floor. There is no acting in this class, it is extremely real. If you have gas you let it go and then say "excuse me." Even if that means you toot several times and then say excuse me several times. You acknowledge it, say excuse me, and the whole class moves on. As a lovely, you don't hold things in, you completely embody what you are feeling. One lovely came in once and started talking about her father's brother's funeral. Everyone listened, and I listened a little more closely than normal. She said her peace, we acknowledged it, and the whole class moved on. There is no hiding.

"How are you?" How often do we actually tell people how we really are? What's really going on in our lives?

What if we lived our lives like a Down syndrome love? What if we lived from a place of loving with no questions asked, empathetic affection, showing the awesome awe that we see in others? What if we were real at all points in our day, let things go immediately, had no self sabotage, and most importantly lived from a place of love, a place of joy?